For those of you who were hoping for an actual post... sorry. I'm just posting some pictures of the townhouse I rent and the vacant room that needs to be filled.
So the pics are kind of in random order, because thats how blogger put them...
This is the laundry room. There's some storage space around the back corner. This is the only part of the basement that doesn't belong to whoever ends up with the room.
This is the closet in the bedroom. It goes really deep underneath the stairs. There are two rods. Nice for putting your out of season clothes in the back.
A view of the bedroom from the back corner, standing in front of the window. The dresser you see is empty right now - just for extra storage. To its right is the stairwell going up into the living room. To its left is the doorway to the bathroom. A view of the bedroom from the entry next to the stairs/bathroom. As you can see, there is a door going into the back yard (non-fenced), and a nice big window with a fancy steel rod. This just shows how you come down the stairs and it opens into the bedroom. The last person to live here put up a suspension rod and curtain right in this gap so that she could have a little more privacy. But the only reason anyone else comes downstairs is to use the laundry room. You guessed it. The bathroom. And the other side of the bathroom. The mirror opens into a medicine cabinet. In this picture, the door is to the right, and the toilet is to the left. This is the living room, looking in from the front entryway next to the kitchen. Don't worry, we're getting a couch soon! The kitchen. You can see how it opens up into the living room behind. Another view of the kitchen, from the entry way. There is a window on the wall to the right, and the dishwasher and opening into the living room are on the left. This is the view of the main level from the front door. You can see how there is a little half ledge that runs between the entry way and the kitchen. The stairs going up are to the left. For those of you who read this blog because you actually know me... No, I didn't move. My roommate did. Yesterday. And we're trying to find someone to take her room.
1/8/10 - Took an Improv Comedy class at a random school in DC... in front of a boy! It was a date!
1/9/10 - Country dancing in Virginia. Not the same as country dancing in Texas.
1/16/10 - Stood on the Filene Center stage at Wolf Trap and sang an aria. To an audience of one. Actually, two. The security guard was nice enough to let me finish before kindly saying, "You sound really good... but you have to get off the stage."
1/18/10 (Martin Luther King Day) - Attended the MLK Celebration at the National Cathedral. Got down, boogied, and rejoiced with a gospel choir. In a Cathedral. "Busted Loose" with Chuck Brown, the pioneer of the DC gogo movement. In a Cathedral. Put money in the collection plate for Haiti. Ate falafels for the first time (where have you been all my life?!).
1/30/10 - Blizzard. I drove my car in first gear for the first time ever because I couldn't stand staying at home on Saturday night. Went sledding on a cookie sheet down the middle of a steep residential street at 1am.
2/6/10 - Blizzard.
2/10/10 - Blizzard. aka "Snowpocalypse" aka "Snowmageddon." NOT aka "Snowmantic." Okay. Seriously. We don't need any more snow. Thanks.
2/13/10 - Purchased an alcoholic beverage for the first time. To make chili. The recipe calls for "a can of Bud." I've never felt so uncomfortable at the grocery store in my life!
Got a sassy new hair cut - layers layers layers!
Attended a fancy shmancy "mock-tini" party hosted by a very classy friend. There was a real roulette table and hired dealer - for a bunch of Mormons who don't know how to play and don't gamble with real money. The best part: chocolate around the rims of the glasses and an ice sculpture center piece, compliments of blizzards 1-3.
2/14/10 - Slumber party at my house with my 6-year-old niece!
2/15/10 (Presidents Day) - Continue slumber party. Made chili for the first time ever for a work chili cookoff, painted fingernails, read Fancy Nancy books. Got snowed on standing in line to get into George Washington's house at Mount Vernon.
2/16/10 - Did not win the chili cookoff at work, but one of the judges did complain to me about the scoring system, feeling that it was unjust that my delicious chili, which was his second favorite, did not win second place.
2/20/10 - Participated in an Art Therapy assessment, to help a random girl from another ward with a school assignment. Unfortunately, so far she's only learned how to do the assessment, not how to read them. So for all I know I could be a complete psychological mess, but at least I got to draw pretty pictures!
"Argyle Style" 2010. Thats right. The theme of this second annual shindig was ARGYLE. Argyle walls. Argyle cakes. Argyle brownies. Oragami argyle hanging from the ceilings. And of course, argyle sweaters, gloves, socks, scarves, hats, ties, headbands, earrings, shoes... if it comes in argyle, it was there!
2/26/10 - Traveled to a random movie theater in Bethesda, MD to see a 10:00 showing of the political thriller movie, "Ghost Writer". Plot: interesting and thought provoking. Full shot of Ewan McGregor's butt: AWKWARD!!!!!!
2/27/10 - "Harvard Sailing Team," a fun comedy troupe, free at the Kennedy Center.
Amsterdam Falafels experience #2 - just as good as I remembered!
Watched a saucy, dirty, AMAZING blues band, "Lex Gray and the Urban Pioneers" at a spunky joint called Madam's Organ in the famous DC neighborhood of Adam's Morgan. Grabbed the lead singer's bright blue feather boa and snapped a photo with the guitarist:
What other adventures will we have between now and December 31, 2010???? Directing a concert for the Opera Guild of Northern Virginia, New York, Baltimore, an inside tour of Annapolis by a sailor who wants to tune my banjo (no joke), Duck Beach, Shenandoah Valley, Aggie-t.u. football game, California gold country, lighthouse, Palmyra, Embassy Open Houses, Punkin' Chunkin', Cherry Blossom festival.... Just you wait. Shoot, by the end of this maybe I'll even get to meet the President. :)
I was headed that direction anyway and nothing else was on the agenda for this bone-chilling cold Saturday afternoon, so I decided at the last minute to "stop by" the temple for a perfectly unrushed and unimposed-upon endowment session. And how wonderful it was! I can't think of a better way to start a new year than in The House of the Lord. There wasn't anything in particular on my mind. I just went, and listened, and felt, and it was wonderful. Some think its weird, but I love to go to the temple alone. There is no one to distract me from my own contemplation and communion with the Lord, and I don't have to feel the slightest rush to get up and leave that holy place where I love to be so much.
I've never been one to set New Years Resolutions per say, because I have always been one to set goals as needed, no matter the time of year. But I do enjoy looking back periodically to ponder the Lord's hand in my life, and I'm always amazed when I do. As I sat in the temple today I pondered my 2009: joy and sadness, pleasure and pain, miracles, healing, progress, change. I'm so grateful for where 2009 took me, or rather, where my Father in Heaven took me.
Thats what struck me as I pondered 2009 in the temple today. I realized that my life has been a great walk side by side with my Savior. He walks with me, and I choose to walk with Him. On multiple occasions in the past year I have been in a state where I knew a very important and potentially life-altering decision was before me, and I simply didn't know which way to go. For days, weeks, and sometimes even months, I prayed and pled with the Father to show me the way, help me make the right decision. That was me choosing to walk with my Savior. By staying close by His side He led me along in the right path, even when I couldn't see what was ahead.
I believe that when we choose to walk with the Savior, our path is safe and our future is sure. I know that my Father in Heaven would have me do great things for Him during my life on earth - specific things that only He-and maybe a few others up there-know. Even though I don't know what those things are, I know that I will accomplish them as long as I continue to walk with Him.
"O that thou hadst hearkened to my commandments! then had thy peace been as a river, and thy righteousness as the waves of the sea" (Isaiah 48:18). That means that when we do hearken to His commandments, our peace is as steady as a river, and we can attain unto righteousness that is as constant and eternal as the ever flowing waves of the sea.
Keep walking with Him. You might say that's my lifetime resolution.
This time one year ago Brant and I were in the middle of a two-week halt of all things wedding, at the wise suggestion of my mother, in hopes of figuring things out, or recovering, or something like that (the real reason is a little unclear, since it was later learned that we both had very differing ideas about the purpose of that 2 week hiatus). That led to the wedding being "postponed," and then finally canceled for good. There were many songs that related in one way or another to how I felt at the end of our relationship , but the one that will probably always be my "Brant Breakup Theme Song" is Better in Time by Leona Lewis.
Thought I couldn't live without you. Its gonna hurt when it heals to. All I know is it will all get better in time.
And it did.
Tonight I realized that Heavenly Father has mercifully worked a great and true miracle. He healed me. In less than a year. When I think about Brant, it doesn't hurt. In fact, I don't think about him much at all. I'm not haunted by countless unanswered questions and insecurities - and believe me I was left with plenty after what I thought was going to last forever came painfully crashing down. Heavenly Father mercifully, and quickly, taught me, gave me answers to my questions, and healed me. That is a true miracle.
The line "Its gonna hurt when it heals too" is still true. If I were to really think about it in depth and replay certain scenes in my head, I would feel it. But I actually find it very difficult to even do that. The memories are there, but its like there is a veil in my mind that makes them sort of fuzzy and hard to reach. The scars are real, but scars is all they are - a new part of me that will always be there as a reminder of past pain, but no longer bleeding, no longer painful.
I could go on and describe specific evidences of Heavenly Father's mercy and love in all of this, but I don't feel like this is the place for that. But trust me, there are plenty and they are real. Its hard for me to even comprehend how much He must love me to take care of me like He has.
Finals are over! This crazy semester is over! I did it! I survived! And I think it turned out pretty good!
After a good scare with one of my classes involving a very misleading grading system, I feel confident that despite this being the heaviest load I've ever taken, I somehow managed to keep my GPA right up where I want it. Both semesters this year have ended with me in absolute awe at how the Lord has taken care of me and gotten me through it. I feel that my final grades really are miraculous. I don't know how I did it. I know that the Lord blesses those who put him first and serve him, but I've felt so many times this year like I haven't served him enough. But still he blesses me. I'm truly amazed.
My life this school year has been a roller coaster to say the least. In a matter of months - perhaps even weeks - I experienced some of the happiest moments and some of the most difficult of my life. I felt exhaustion of body, mind, and spirit like I didn't know was possible. I had the life sucked out of me and it took all my strength to painfully take it back. I can't even begin to measure the lessons I learned. Most of them I still haven't figured out how to fabricate into words, and many of them I don't think I've even realized yet. I found myself amazed at the love shown to me by my family and friends, and I learned what love isn't. I felt that I became disconnected from those I serve for a time, but then, miraculously, I learned that I still made a difference. I finally got my very own paid-my-tithing-and-got-a-miracle story! I learned how to find the right road to make things happen in the performing arts world. I got to honor a lost friend and feel a special closeness to her from beyond the veil. I gained new confidence in myself in a lot of areas, but sadly lost it in other areas and I'm still trying to recover from that. The list could go on and on. I can't begin to describe the year its been. I'm relieved that its over, but more so I am amazed that Heavenly Father got me through it. I didn't do it myself. I couldn't have.
Up next: Two and a half weeks of full-time working and intense job searching, followed by an easy peasy five-week summer term, and then... heaven only knows (literally)!
First of all, aren't you proud of me? I'm blogging! I decided there's a lot going on in my life and I should jump on a quiet Sunday evening to fill in my faithful and deprived followers.
In three months I will be done with school. FOREVER! On July 2nd I will take my last final EVER! It brings joy to the very depths of my soul just to think of it. I'm already scheming all the ways I will fill up my time doing things I want to do, not things my professors want me to do. This current semester might kill me yet, but once I get through it the worst will definitely be over. All I'll have left is Yoga and Art History - both classes I'm very excited about. I'll take them both in the first five-week summer term, but I won't technically graduate until August 15th. I'm hoping to move away from College Station and find a job right after finishing classes in July and take a trip back to walk the stage in August.
On that note, I'm looking for a job. I'd be happy with anything in the performing arts, but would ideally like to be at an opera company in either the Artistic or Education departments. Ideal locations are anywhere in Texas, Virginia/DC area, or close to siblings, but I'll go wherever I get hired. I've applied for a couple positions, but I'm at a major disadvantage at this point because I can't start immediately. Also, its a hard time for the arts (and nonprofits in general, for that matter). People have less to give, and opera companies rely on gifts for around 70% of their budget. The company I interned with is on a hiring freeze or else I would have a very good chance of going to work there. I'm hoping and praying to have a job lined up as soon as I graduate. I feel very strongly that it is time for me to get out of College Station.
As far as the present, I am definitely in race-to-the-finish mode. My Senior Project culminates two weeks from tomorrow with the concert I'm organizing start to finish: "A Celebration of Mary Beth Farmer." Mary Beth was a close friend of mine and fellow Music major who was killed shortly after graduating last spring. The concert will feature performances by faculty and students of the department who have volunteered to participate (including me). The program has shaped up very nicely and I'm confident it will suit its purpose perfectly and be well attended. However, I have a lot of work left to do and the clock is ticking! On top of that, I have papers, projects, reading, tests, and a somewhat absurd amount of church activities. Am I going to sleep in April? All signs point to not much.
On a high note, I get my Aggie Ring in 12 days! People who aren't familiar with the tradition might think its weird to be so excited about getting a college class ring, but anyone who knows anything about the Aggies knows that the Aggie ring is a big deal! Its a symbol of Aggie values and unites the Aggie family throughout the world throughout their lives. An unofficial tradition is to "earn your right" to wear the ring by "dunking" it in a pitcher of beer and chugging it until you catch the ring in your teeth. Of course I won't be chugging any beer, but we Mormon kids have our own little tradition of trying to come up with the most creative substitute. My roommate is getting her ring the same day as me, and we have decided we will dunk ours together in Martinelli's - sparkling apple for me, and sparkling grade for Heather. My mom is even coming to witness the festivities and stay for parents weekend and through to the concert. I'm so excited! Of course, that means I have to finish all my homework early because I won't be doing any that weekend!
I've started a container garden and I'm really enjoying it. So far I have rosemary, garlic chives, a banana pepper, and a tomatoe plant that technically belongs to my roommate. I also planted lavender although all sources I've consulted say it probably won't grow. I also got a venus fly trap for my kitchen. Spearmint grows wild in the lawn outside my apartment, so I plan on stealing a few sprigs to take with me when I leave. I'm trying not to go too crazy since I'm moving soon, but its just so fun!
I could go on, but thats probably enough update for one post. Bed time.
Both of my sisters dedicated blog posts to my mom today (its her birthday). I figured I should follow suit, but I don't have any cute kids to show off like they do. However, I know one thing mom always wants from me...
Seriously, I can't believe I'm posting this on the internet. I LOVE YOU MOM!
For those of you who read this blog because you actually know me... No, I didn't move. My roommate did. Yesterday. And we're trying to find someone to take her room.
